#AND HE HAS EXPERIENCE WITH IT TOO AT LEAST HE WOULD LOOK LIKE IT
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gothicfied · 2 days ago
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(Squid game s2) Can you write a comfort fic about an insecure reader has past trauma and has endured Highschool bullying. When she joins the games and is in the group (Gi-hun, Dae-ho, Jun-hee & others) but once they meet Jun-hee she gets pushed aside and has to join another group in the second game. Feel free to change or add anything, the pairing could be Daeho x reader but it’s up to you <33
Never alone again - Kang Dae-ho / Player 388
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Pairing: Kang Dae-ho / Player 388 x Reader
Summary: After seeing you almost die, Dae-ho swore he wouldn't leave your side ever again.
Warnings: Mentions of death/dying, gunshots (typical squid game stuff), other than that it's just fluff, not proof read (english isn't my first language)
Word Count: ~ 1.2k
A/N: hii! tysm for the request and I hope I did it justice.
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You believed Gi-hun from the start. You believed he was right, no sane person would just say stuff like that, right? That they kill each player who gets eliminated? He seemed too damn serious for it to be a lie. And lo and behold, he was right. People. Shot dead. Right in front of you. Red-Light-Green-Light was a traumatic experience. You wanted to quit, you wanted to go home, go home and hug your parents and just be grateful to still be alive.
It was like the universe had turned against you. How wasn't everyone scared out of their minds like you? Was money really all that mattered to them? A heated discussion broke out during the first voting, angry voices yelling at each other, accusing Gi-hun of lying. You took all the courage you had left in you to try and stand up for him, at least make it known that you sided with him. Past experiences, especially your school time, usually made it hard for you to speak up, but that shouldn't really be an issue right now — You could end up dead, that's what worried you. After the voting, that didn't go your way at all, Gi-hun showed gratitude for your courage to say something and suggested you'd stick with him from now on.
Added to your group were In-ho, the last player who actually voted 'O', Jung-bae and Dae-ho, who were both former marines. While eating the lunch provided to you by the guards, those two immediately bonded over their former occupation, which you found endearing. Even though you were currently still to shy to join in on their conversations, you were content with just having a group you could stick to — Because you were sure you absolutely wouldn't survive in here alone.
"And, what's your name?" Dae-ho asked, as hd took a seat on the stairs next to you, happily eating his food. When you told him he gasped, almost chocking in the process. "That's my sisters name!" he laughed, nudging your shoulder with his. You just replied with a little "Oh? No way." and then he began rambling about his life, about his four sisters, about how his father sent him to be a marine and so on. He closed his monologue saying "Anyway, that's a really pretty name." and then proceeded to ask you for your leftover food. He made you laugh, which was nice considering you all were stuck in this hellhole.
In Dae-ho's opinion, you two had a lot in common, even if you didn't at all. He suggested you slept in the bed right under his which was.. well, free now after the first game. At night, you couldn't help but overthink your interactions with not only him, but the other three guys, too. They were so nice and welcoming. All of them had a special attribute that will probably be useful in the coming few days.. and you? You had the feeling that you brought nothing to the table.
The next day, a vast majority of the players went into the second game with the impression that this will be Dalgona, like Gi-hun predicted. Apparently not. The female voice over the speakers ordered the players to form groups of five. "Ah, how perfect," In-ho smiled, "guess we'll be a group then." You looked between the men, nodding in agreement and just when you were about to say something-
"Excuse me, are you maybe searching for one more person-?"
"Oh, no I'm sorry, we're actually already five peo-"
"I'm pregnant."
The girl cut Jung-bae off, resting her hands on her pregnant belly. You raised your eyebrows in shock and no one really seemed to know what to do next. Oh, you felt bad for her. She must've been very desperate if she entered the games while being pregnant. You five were just looking at each other confused, until you took a deep breath: "It's okay, I'll find another group. She needs to be with people she can absolutely win with." You looked at the girl and she looked back, slowly giving you a grateful smile. "No it's okay I'll go-" Dae-ho tried to say, but you waved him off, shaking your head.
"Well.. No, you can't just.."
"Dae-ho," In-ho said in a low tone, putting a hand on his shoulder, "she's pregnant." he said, like Dae-ho needed a reminder of what was right in front of him. You weren't that important to the team anyways, and that girl needed your help. So, it was decided, and in the end you did find a team of three players who voted 'X', like you, and one who didn't. You felt fairly safe with these people and even if you didn't, you didn't have much of a choice.
The game was a six-legged pentathlon with five mini games you had to split between each team member to complete. Watching the first few teams go was an absolute adrenaline rush, given the small amount of time of five minutes, the first few players were shot on sight pretty early on. This made you nervous to the point where you could throw up. Your original group was sitting a few meters away from youd current one and you did lock eyes with Dae-ho quite a bit, him giving you reassuring glances or a thumbs up. You mustered up a smile, trying yo calm your thoughts down.
I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this-
Oh but you could. Your team, which came before Gi-hun's, barely made it over the finish line with three seconds to spare, making the crowd of waiting players roar and cheer and yell "Good job!". The most time you lost was at Gonggi, thankfully not your mini game. Being able to beat yours on the first try filled you with the confidence you needed, which was probably the only thing that kept you up on your feet. Speaking of which, the shackles, that bound your left leg together with the player next to you, were taken off of them and you were free to go. Well, back into the dorm area.
Anxiously, you sat on your bed and waited, for your team. Players streamed in, one after the other, just not the ones you were so desperate to see. You were biting your fingernails, your thoughts being flooded with the fear of them all just dying, being left alone to survive this shit.
Suddenly, you heard a voice call out for you. It was Dae-ho (who else?) who basically sprinted to you. Before you could even stand up to reciprocate his hug, he pulled you up into his arms, squeezing the air out if his lungs. "Do you know how scared I was?" he sounded really out of breath. You didn't reply, just hugged him back the best you could and watched Jung-bae laugh to himself, watching the two of you. "I'm so glad you're alive! I'll never let you do that again, okay? Next time, I'll be the one to find another group.. not you okay?" His word vomit just wouldn't stop.
"Let's hope there won't be a next time."
"Obviously there won't be, I won't ever let you leave again."
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gardens-light · 3 days ago
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I always look forward to seeing these types of posts on my feed, as it gets me thinking about what writing goals I'd like to achieve or set. As well as, see the goals/accomplishments of other fellow writes.
My answers are below, and keep reblogging with yours. :)
💖 Might be a tad small, but I'd like to achieve at least 50 fanfics by the end of this year. Weather they're requests/prompts or ideas of my own.
🛳 Maybe dive more into platonic ships. As I do favourite romance.
🤔 I would like to write one shots/series for under rated characters. Such as Crosshairs, Hound, Bulkhead (and more) from Transformers, Abe Sapien from Hellboy, etc.
🥸 My sister knows, and has read a couple of mine. As we often share ideas, inspiration, character/fandom ideas etc, since she also writes fanfics. My husband is aware that I write fanfics, but he doesn't quite know exactly what kind of things I write. But I don't plan on telling anyone else.
🥵 100% yes.
👻 Maybe more in depth the with action genre. And step out of my comfort zone by exploring horror or dark elements.
🦄 I do prefer 2nd person. But might write a fic in 1st or 3rd.
🐌 May not be writing goals exactly. But organizing my drafts better, as there has been a few fics that sat there for months collecting dust.
🦖 I'd like to get back into Hellboy, as I realize that I abandoned a series idea years ago. And my attempt at it really needs to be re-written, as I don't like how it sounds anymore. I might also do more anime fandoms, but the faze tends to come and go for me.
🍄 DC Comics/Universe. Although I'm mainly a Marvel fan, there has been a few ideas I've had, that would better suit DC characters.
🌈 It may not be research, but I do tend to read a few fanfics or orgianal fics of fandoms I'm new/returning to. As well as, binge watching TV/movies of that character/fandom.
But I also do research on writing. (Sub-genres/plots. Kinks/fetishes. Cliches. Building motivation, organization, writing goals. etc.)
✨ I'd say my use of deceptive language and onomatopoeias. And how I try to use other writing techniques to immerse readers that little more.
🥕 Certainly my grammar, as I've noticed a few spelling mistakes over the time. And my sense of scale and anatomy, I appreciate people telling me how way off I've been in my past fics and how it affected their reading experience.
🫘 I'm actually planning on writing a young adult, fantasy novel with OCs. And I've recently started up on Fiverr for writing commissions.
🥳 I'd probably just give myself a cheat day from my diet and exercise. Or buy that thing I've been eyeing up for ages.
🎃 I've actually been meaning to write seasonal fics. But the time I have a moment to write, or the idea comes to me, the season's over. But certainly gonna try and give those ago this year.
🐾 Another thing that's been on my 'To Do List' for a while, and would like to try to participate at least one or two this year.
✍️ Honestly it would have to be comments. Not the amount of comments, but just comments in general- even if it's just one or two. As that's the main way people have given me valuable feedback, and it helps me grow to be better writer.
👾 I'm honestly not sure what 'bad' writing habits, that I may have. There's bound to be a good few that I don't notice, and would try and break them if they're pointed out to me.
🤖 I mainly use my laptop or phone for writing for convenience. As I do tend to do a bit of writing on my breaks at work, but I suppose having an area dedicated to me writing at home wouldn't be too bad.
🦷 I'm currently working on two different series for the Transformers fandom. One is for the character Knockout in TFP, I love this character and have many ideas for the series, but he's mainly seen as asexual in the fandom. I agree and respect the views of this character, but since I don't really have anyone in my friends/family that identifies as asexual, I'm honestly worried I may accidentally misrepresent the character and/or those who identifies as such.
💥 I have an idea for a one shot for The Joker from DC- Suicide Squad. As the one-shot I've got planned is an semi original idea, and many dark elements that would challenge me, and get me out of my comfort zone.
🍕 Due to my part time job, and personal commitments. I do only write/post things whenever I have a free moment to dedicate an hour or two to this hobby. But I'd would like to try and post more per month, but also not to flood anyone's feed.
🛏 I'm sure there's a few tropes/cliches that I've already written for. But I'd like to write 'bed one' or 'cuddle for warmth' cliche, as they're surprisingly the ones I don't write about. Yet they're my favourite.
🪩 Might be a little controversial, but don't be afraid to give your reader a nickname or codename in your fics. For example, in my Transformer fics, Reader is an military officer so they have an nickname such as 'Lieutenant Echo' or 'Private Valkyrie.' As to me, these give the Reader a little more depth and personality to their character, and doesn't take them out of the reading experience by reading 'Y/N' over and over.
🎉 In all honesty? Probably not, as just like anyone. I'm my own worst critic.
💌 Yep! Those sort of things keeps my motivation going, and gets me out of writer's block sometimes.
Writer Goal Ask List for a New Year 🎉
These writer asks are always so fun to both ask and answer. Fanfic or original fiction writers, reblog away! These are asks based in new goals for a new year.
💖 What is your primary writing goal for this year?
🛳 Are there any new ships you want to write for? (Platonic, romantic, or anything in between.)
🤔 Are there any new characters you want to write about?
🥸 Does anyone in IRL know you write fanfic or original fiction? If not, do you plan on telling anyone this year?
🥵 Any plans to write steamy or spicy content this year?
👻 Is there a new genre you'd like to write?
🦄 Is there a new POV you'd like to try writing?
🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals?
🦖 Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you'd like to return to?
🍄 Are there any fandoms you've never written for but want to try?
🌈 What research do you plan on doing for your writing?
✨What's one area of your writing that you think needs the least amount of improvement?
🥕 What's one area of your writing that you think needs the most amount of improvement?
🫘 Spill the beans. What's a new project you're doing this year?
🥳 How are you going to celebrate when you achieve one of your writing goals?
🎃 Do you plan on writing any seasonal fics?
🐾 Do you plan on writing for any fests or competitions?
✍️ Which stat matters most to you (if at all!): subscriptions, kudos/favorites, comments, bookmarks, word count, or hits?
👾 Do you have any "bad" writing habits you want to break?
🤖 Are you looking to change your current writing setup? (Or establish one, if you don't have one?)
🦷 Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're dreading to write (but is necessary to your plot)? Share a snippet or tell us about it!
💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!
🍕Will you be making any changes to your posting schedule (if you have one)? (Or do you want to establish a posting schedule?)
🛏 Is there a new trope you'd like to write this year?
🪩 Do you have any "good" writing habits you want to cultivate?
🎉 How are you going to be kind to yourself if you don't meet your goals?
💌 Are you willing to take requests or prompts for writing?
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milktrician · 1 day ago
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Hello hello! :D
SQH-SY siblings au for the ask game, please?
I'm pretty sure I wrote this after someone wrote a text post about the idea but idk if I would be able to track that down, or if it existed at all and I'm misremembering. Anyway, I didn't really have a set plot in mind after I wrote this short snippet other than it would be very funny for Shen Yuan to try and actively sabotague Shang Qinghua's efforts to become head disciple of An Ding while looking as innocent as possible. I don't think I'm going to write anymore for this idea as I have other wips I want to focus on but feel free anyone to write out their own interpretation! Anyways, here's what I wrote a few weeks back:
[ Activation code: “Dumbfuck author, dumbfuck novel.” System automatically triggered ]
What? What the fuck is this?
[ Host is in the midst of transmigration! ]
No—what? This is a dream, Airplane’s stupid fucking writing must have made me pass out!
Rrgh! I need to punch the fucker IRL!
[ Host would like to see Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky? ]
YES!
[ Beginning transmigration… ]
What?
“Oh! It’s a boy!”
“W-Wait what? Doctor, didn’t you say it was going to be a girl?”
What the hell?
He feels himself get wrapped within a cloth, and suddenly he's enveloped in warmth. He’s being…held?
Any attempt to move his limbs is caught by the cloth wrapped around him. His tongue presses against toothless gums, and his vision is too blurry to make out anything.
No…
“Haha, well surprises always happen! Did you have a name in mind if you two had another son?”
“Ah, well I suppose we never gave any thought to it. A-Yu, you’re always good at coming up with names with your little stories, how about you name your little brother?”
No…
“You…ah, shouldn’t it be up to you two? Like erm. Tradition or something? Like this is a whole baby I sh-shouldn’t be responsible for the name he’ll be called for the rest of his life!”
A woman then laughs above him, 
“A-Yu, I think I’m much too tired to think right now. You’re a smart boy, any name you come up with I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”
He…died. 
Transmigration’s real!?
AND HE’S A BABY!
Oh—whoever this person is, please don’t name him something stupid.
[ Don’t worry Host! This System has you covered! ]
“…Yuan?” Whoever “A-Yu” is, he said that like he wasn’t even sure of it himself! Thank god he still has his old name in this life at least.
“Shang Yuan…I like that.”
System…where have I transmigrated?
[ This System operates in line with the design concept “YOU CAN YOU UP, NO CAN NO BB”; we hope to provide you with the best possible experience. It is our sincere wish that during your time, you can fulfill your desires and, in accordance to your wish, ‘see Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky’ ]
[ Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Important things must be said three times! ]
What now?!
[ User has completed his wish! ]
I…did?
[ Entering Limited Sandbox Mode! Feel free to explore within the constraints of the plot! ]
[ We hope you enjoy the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way! ]
WHAT?
“Ah! He’s crying, give him here.”
“Ahh. You’re so cute lil bro! Cutest baby in the whole wide world!”
A-Yu, or Shang Hongyu, is his new older brother in this life and is maybe eight or nine years older than him. He’s apparently very smart for his age, and their parents are already tutoring him to take over their father’s business.
He hears his older brother sniffle,
“Too bad you’ll probably never see me again in a few years.” he says, “I’ve gotta head to Cang Qiong and make my way up An Ding in the next few years.”
Hold on a second.
His older brother holds him tight against his chest, and from here he can feel his breath shudder.
“I’ve never had a sibling by blood before.”
He’s brought to his sibling’s bed and his brother lays next to him lazily.
“Just a few more years and you guys won’t have to see me again.” his brother says to noone, “They’re…surprisingly good parents, didi. Once they don’t have me to worry about, they can spoil you as much as you want.”
Geez, what kind of weird complex do you have?
Though. Shang surely is a common surname right? Lots of Shangs to go to An Ding!
System where in the timeline are we?
[ System is currently in maintenance for future updates! ]
Fine. He’ll figure it out his own way!
His own chubby fingers are able to grab onto his brother’s robe.
“Gege.” He says, to the best of his ability with his shitty little baby mouth.
He doesn’t expect his brother to burst out crying and start to hug him tight.
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blackgirlsloveburrow · 2 days ago
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NSFW 18+
joe burrow x uc student!reader has been on my mind so this is for my college babes
growing up in ohio, you never really would expect to be in a situation like this.
ohio has a few perks to it, but overall is mostly corn, dingy neighborhoods, and like three big cities.
so how did the top nfl quarterback end up in your bed?
it was kind of hard to look back on as your hangover hurt the harder you tried to think. at least he looked peaceful sleeping next to your hello kitty squishmallow.
shit.
"oh god this is so embarassing," you think out loud. all you remember is going to a dinky bar with your friends after lowkey bombing a history test and then...
oh. now you remember.
the kelces were in town last night. they were of course university of cincinnati alums, and joe burrow was along for their reunion tour. they did a whole interview in fifth third arena, that you got to miss of course because you were crying in your pillow over american history. afterwards they decided to visit the small college bar for the nostalgia, and that's where you saw him and he saw you.
joe was so hot.
everyone was freaking out, you as well on the inside, but you decided to order another vodka cran instead of gathering around them like the rest of the bar was. it was your third drink of the night, so you were definitely feeling it to say the least.
after a while the hype started to die down, and you felt a towering body right next to yours. you looked over and see:
him.
"hey. i'm joe," he said with an awkward smile on his face, sticking out his hand.
you don't feel super nervous, as you had enough liquid courage in your system to form a sentence.
"hi i'm y/n and i definitely know who you are," you laughed and reciprocated his handshake. your friends were behind you freaking out. you cringed a bit.
"i see you're with your friends, but i was wondering if you'd want to come with me to a more private bar? i have a driver out back and i can meet you out there so we don't cause a scene or anything" he said.
okay you definitely drank too much because now you must be hearing things.
"sure! i mean yes haha," you replied, trying to control your excitement.
"cool i'll see you out there y/n".
he walked away. your friends came from behind you, pestering you for the details of you and joe's interaction.
"he just asked how i was doing guys that's all. i do think i am going to head out though. i have to wake up early tomorrow," you told them. it was a pretty solid lie as they just pouted and said their goodbyes.
you made your way through the crowd towards the back door of the bar. someone, probably security, was at the back door and asked for your name. you gave it to them and you walked outside. there were two sleek black cars. one for joe, and one for the kelces. the kelces were still inside, reveling in their hometown glory, so you guessed it would be just you and joe.
the driver opened the door for you and you slid inside. your beat up honda had nothing on this vehicle. you and joe both said hey and he offered you a drink. and who are you to say no to a free drink?
you took it and the driver started going towards your destination. joe asked you questions about yourself and what brought you to the bar that night. you give him details and also embarrassingly told him you flunked a history test.
he laughed, talking about his college experiences and himself as well.
you finished your drink as you both arrived at the bar.
it was really nice. definitely a bar they don't let just anyone go into. luckily you were wearing a slightly cute dress.
joe took your hand as you exited the car. your face got hot at the gesture (or maybe it was the alcohol) and he walked you inside.
he led you to the bar where you guys both ordered some drinks and he started a tab. you guys talked for a while, getting closer and closer with each drink.
"you know i think football is kinda boring," you said without thinking, the alcohol taking over your conversation skills.
"you just have to get to know it better, like how i'm getting to know you better," he replied speaking closely to you.
"you should come to one of my games sometimes," he added.
"i would love to! but only if i can get a ja'marr chase jersey," you joked to him.
"totally not funny, you'd look way better with my name and number on your back," he responded defensively.
before you could respond you heard one of your favorite songs to dance too.
"oh my god! i love this song. come dance with me," you said as you pulled him to the dance floor.
you started swaying your hips to the rhythm of the song with him behind you. he matched your rhythm, putting his hands on your hips, pulling you closer to his hard on. you felt it on your lower back, surprised, and starting to get turned on.
the song finished and you turn around. he grabbed your neck and kissed you. you grabbed the back of his hair and stuck your tongue in his mouth. he kissed you like you were giving him oxygen to breathe.
this led you two out of the club towards the black vehicle, not being able to keep your hands off of each other. you requested to go to your apartment by your college since it's close. and joe just wanting to be inside of you didn't care to object.
you and joe continue to make out in the car. you are rubbing his hard on while he is making hickeys on your neck and grabbing your boobs.
you guys finally got to your apartment, thanked the driver (and probably traumatized him as well), and made your way inside.
you and him rushed to the bedroom, where you and joe immediately started to strip.
joe laid you on the bed where he started to eat you out.
"oh f-fuck joe," you moaned. he sucked your clit, gripping your thighs so that you wouldn't get away from him.
you grabbed his hair, pushing him more into you, which made him grunt in response. he continued pleasuring you for a while.
"i-i'm gonna cum," you whined. this made him get up, kiss you, and flip you over.
"fuck baby you are so wet for me. i wanted to cum just from eating you out," he replied, breathing heavily.
he pulled your ass up into the air, his cock lining up with your hole.
"i want you to cum with me baby," he moans, sticking his girth slowly in your cunt.
oh my god he was so big.
it felt like he was splitting you open in the best way possible. he immediately was hitting your g-spot, having you moan so loud your whole building could probably hear.
he was moaning too, and was gripping your ass so hard as he pulled you into him with deep, hard strokes.
"fuck your little pussy is so perfect baby, he moaned loudly.
you were clawing at your bed sheets, loving how vocal he was too.
"oh daddy i'm gonna cum, oh my god!" you scream. he pulled out, flipping you over again, and reentered you.
"i wanna see your face when you cum for me," he huffs. he's holding your thighs up, fucking you deeper and harder than before. your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you released. he soon followed releasing deep inside of you.
he kissed you. you reciprocated but were quick to fall into a deep sleep, and so was he.
it was an eventful night.
so now that you remember...
you put on an oversized tee and went into the kitchen to make some breakfast. you are pretty much in your own world, thinking about last nights events, until you hear joe walking down the hallway. he has his clothes on. he looks at you sheepishly.
"hey, so i really had a good time last night," he said to you.
"so did i," you replied smiling.
"i hate to do this but i kinda have to go. my manager called and i'm kind of late to a meeting," he says a little embarrassed.
you're face looks disappointed.
"but-," he adds. "here's my number. please call me. i really want to see you again and have you in my jersey in the stands like i talked about last night".
"i would love that," you reply, mood brightening already.
he moves into kiss you passionately, and then leaves.
how are you just supposed to go back to school monday now?
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Omfg your writing is so cute !! I already requested a couple times before but I just can’t help it
Sonic x reader that admires Shadow, But Sonic misunderstands this as reader having a crush on Shadow when reader just sees Shadow as a mysterious, cool role model, so this causes Sonic to try and compete and up throw Shadow in order to gain readers affection. Only for reader to confess to Sonic and him being confused like “i thought you liked Shadow???” And reader explains that they just admire him and look up to Shadow, but Sonics the one they actually like!
Sorry if this is hard to understand but take your time!
🐛
“The Wrong Idea”
Pairing(s): Jealous Sonic the Hedgehog x Reader, background Knuxadow/Shadknux (Knuckles x Shadow)
Requested: Yes (by an anon).
Description: Sonic the Hedgehog never got jealous! At least…that’s what he tells everybody. So why was it always that faker that made him feel this way?
Notes: Wooooo, request number seven (eight?- technically the eighth one I’m posting-)! And don’t feel bad for requesting multiple! I’m having fun writing these!
(Reader will be gender neutral.)
(Not proof-read/beta-read.)
– – – – – – – – – – – –
Sonic the Hedgehog never got jealous.
At least…that’s what he told everyone.
But right now, it seems like he wasn’t telling the truth.
He has no clue why, but every time he sees you chumming up with that faker, he gets jealous.
He knows it’s selfish, but he wants your eyes on him, not Shadow of all mobians.
Right now, you and Shadow were outside of Rose’s Bakery, Amy’s bakery that she set up with the help of Vanilla and Cream, eating sweets and drinking bubble tea.
Shadow had some kind of coffee-flavored one with tapioca bubbles (because of course he did), while you had a simple fruit tea with your favorite fruit-flavored bubbles.
…Not that he remembered your exact order each time you go to Rose’s…
Oh, who was he kidding. He had a massive crush on you but he was 90% sure you had a crush on the faker.
So all he had to do was one-up him, right?
Sonic zoomed off, paying for a bouquet of your favorite flowers, before zooming back over to where you and Shadow were, only to find you both gone.
His ears droop in disappointment, the flowers drooping as well in a sad yet funny irony.
“(That’s okay, that’s okay. You’ve just gotta catch ‘em next time!)” Sonic thinks to himself. “(It won’t be that hard! You’re the fastest thing alive after all!)”
The next time he sees you both, you’re on your way over to a movie theater, chatting on the way there.
Bingo!
“Hey [Name]! Shads! Good to see you guys!” Sonic says, zooming over to you both.
“Oh! Hey Sonic!” You say, waving at him with a warm smile on your face, one he always cherished.
“Sonic,” Shadow acknowledges. “What are you doing here?”
“Well sheesh, can’t a guy say hi to his friends without the suspicion??” Sonic asks. “Anyway! What are you guys up to?”
“[Name] offered to take me to see a movie in theaters, to have the “full Mobius experience,”” Shadow states, doing air quotes with his hands.
“Oh, sweet! Mind if I tag along?” Sonic asks.
“You sitting still in a theater for hours? Doubtful,” Shadow states.
“I can too sit still in a theater,” Sonic grumbles.
“Sure thing! Though, we are going to see a horror movie, just warning you in advance,” you tell Sonic.
He makes a “Pshhh!” sound, waving you off.
“Puh-lease! Horror is my middle name!” Sonic states.
“I thought it was Maurice-” you start, only for Sonic to take your hand in his, gently pulling you along.
“C’mon! We wanna get the best seats!” Sonic states.
Boy, was Sonic not prepared for this movie. Luckily (or maybe not so luckily, he hated seeing you scared), you weren’t, either, with you and Sonic clinging onto each other every time there was a scary scene.
When you all exited the theater, you were still slightly shaking.
“R-Remind me not to trust movies with holiday names in them anymore…” you mutter.
“You did say it was gonna be scary, [Nickname].” Sonic tells you.
“Would you like me to take you home?” Shadow asks, holding out a hand for you to take.
“I’ll take ‘em home, Shads!” Sonic suddenly announces, putting an arm around your shoulder. “Besides! I can get them there lickity-split!”
“I appreciate that, Sonic,” you say with a small smile, and Sonic swears he sees a light blush on your cheeks, but he brushes it off.
“Sure thing!” he tells you, before scooping you into a bridal-style carry. “See ya later, Shads! Now hold on tight, [Name]!”
You wrap your arms around Sonic’s neck and he rushes off towards your home to get you back safely.
A few days later, when you texted him asking him to meet up, he was nervous.
What if you were mad at him? What if you told him you didn’t want to be friends?
What if you were dating Shadow?!
He took a deep breath, exhaling sharply.
“Calm down, Sonic. They just want to talk with you. It’s fine,” Sonic says to himself before rushing out of his and Tails’ shared home.
Getting there in the blink of an eye, Sonic immediately notices something.
You.
You’re dressed in a really nice outfit and you have a picnic set up, hiding something behind your back.
You look-
“You look gorgeous…” Sonic mutters aloud.
Your face turns pink, and you look to the side, a bit embarrassed, but you wave him towards you, which he does, sitting on the blanket next to you.
“So…” you start.
“So…” he continues.
You clear your throat with one hand before bringing out what was behind your back; a bouquet of blue orchid flowers, Sonic’s favorites. You hold it out to him and he takes it with a shocked expression, his face tinted pink, cradling the flowers carefully.
“I- But- We- I thought-” Sonic sputters. “I thought you had a crush on Shadow!”
You blink twice before bursting out laughing, hunching back before hunching forward, wiping a few tears from your eyes.
“No, silly! I’ve liked you this whole time!” you tell him. “Shadow felt like a mentor to me. And don’t tell him I told you, but he came to me for love advice.”
“Love advice??? Him???” Sonic questions. “Who could he possibly like??”
Looking around, you cup a hand around your mouth before whispering in Sonic’s ear, and Sonic’s face quickly morphs into one of genuine shock.
“HE HAS A CRUSH ON WHO?!” Sonic yells.
“Don’t say it so loud!” you tell him, letting out another laugh.
“I just- Knuckles???” he questions. “I would’ve never thought!”
You giggle before placing a kiss on Sonic’s cheek, a smile appearing on both of your faces.
Neither of you could be happier.
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nownahc · 11 hours ago
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8 and 25 for the prompt challenge with bang Chan or Lee know? Or whoever you think best! I just live for angst.
four months | bcc.
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bangchan x reader
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prompts list send in an ask to request
notes. decided on Bangchan (maybe i was biased haha) hope you liked it, but if you want another angst with Lee Know I'd love to do it too! And thanks a whole lot for your request :)
warnings. angst angst ANGST
prompts. “Were you ever going to tell me?” / “When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”
Four months.
Four months of what if, of possibilities and plans but most importantly, four months of him.
Late face times that turn in either him or you to fall asleep, a smile adorning the face of the one still awake. Small trinkets bought simply because ‘it reminded me of you’. Brushing hands and lingering glances holding the same shared feeling. Friends gathering that has you both separated, each in your own corner of the room yet, as you look across the room and catch his eyes, for a minute you think ‘this person could love me the way I love him.’
Four months spent thinking that finally, this intimate cocoon, this secret world shared between two being had finally been gifted to you, by him. Since the first words shared, the first eye contacts, he had been nothing but the greatest version of what you had always dreamed of. Both of you had decided to take things slow, to simply feel instead of explaining what was happening. Past experiences had proven you both that rushing into things, especially heart related things, could hurt you more than you could endure.
'Were you ever going to tell me?'
In this fleeting moment though, you don’t think your voice has ever been laced with this much despair, with this much… pleading. Stood before you, Bangchan's head hung low. Out of shame? Out of guilt? That you’ll never know. You rack your brain, your heart, to find out the critical point that led to his change of heart. When had your shared road turned into a split one? You feared for a moment that, the moments when you had gazed at him, eyes full of love, his own eyes were filled with… a much different feeling than yours. What if everything you had noticed, everything you had felt as true, was a simple mirage. Were your eyes deceiving you? Was your heart that foolish that, it didn’t realize? Maybe, it had only been you that thought of it as more than friendship. Maybe it had been you who fallen while he had realized that he could never fall too.
'Tell me you were going to tell me… At least, tell me you weren’t going to just, let me love you.'
Silence.
It’s in this stillness that you start to realize that maybe what hurts more is the fact that, wathever this was, could have escalated to something more. There’s a passing, fleeting thought that crosses your mind: gratefulness. Gratefulness that, at least, you had realized soon enough, as to not cause your heart further pain in the future, that he didn't love you, that he never loved you. How far would he have gone to preserve you, to preserve him? How can someone let a being love that deeply when you know, that deep down, they’ll never love you as much. It feels like you’re going full circle in the stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. And again, in an never ending loop.
Only a few seconds passes yet, it feels like you spent hours eyes fixed on the back of his head. He’s there, yet, it already feels like he's some different place, away from you. He can’t even look at you in the eyes. If only you had known that the last time you had met his gaze would have been your actual last time, you would have let your eyes linger a little bit longer. You don’t even know if you want to understand, to hear his point of view of this story. You dared not know if he had loved you too at some point or if he had never felt as deeply, neither of those two possibilities could ever heal your soul, not even a little bit. Both of you had been foolish, that’s a fact. You for, believing that those four months were just the beginning of something greater, prettier, and him for… whatever went through his mind.
Your entire body grieve his presence. Fingers clenching at the memory of his fingertips brushing against them. Skin tingling at the ghost of his warmth when he was just a little closer then friends should. Brain trying to put in a special folder all the words, promises, compliments, supports he had uttered to you. Oh, how your heart had begged for whatever force was in charge of all this, to not have to grieve him, of all people.
‘When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!’
Possibly, that's the thing, you can't just stop loving someone so, it only meant one thing. He never loved you. This fact scares you, it's the undeniable sign that, you'll have to forget, forget him, your feelings, and all the what ifs that used to put a smile on your face even in your darkest days. He’s still there, in front of you, yet he’s already a memory bound to fade. In a few days, you’ll struggle to remember the exact tone of his voice. In a few weeks, the feel of his hands on you will be foreign on your skin. In a few years, even his name might disappear from your brain for a few moments. That’s terrifying.
Legs finally working again, realizing that there was no use to do anything else any more, you internally pray that he’ll keep on staying quiet, gaze lowered on the ground. You fear to hear a small ‘I’m sorry’ or worse ‘I meant everything I said’, because you know that if he did, it’ll be over for you, in more ways than one. So you fasten your pace, carelessly gathering your belongings, not daring to linger around him more, not daring to take the time, that felt like a compensation already, that he had cruelly given you. You wish to never hear his name again, to never see his face again. Not out of despise and hate but, out of shame, out of melancholy. Too terrified to know that he’ll feel what you felt with him with someone else.
Soon enough, when your heart won't long for him anymore, not that it doesn't neet it but because it understood that it can't, you'll realize that he was the perfect prince for the fairytale you dreamed of yet, maybe, you had always dreamed of the wrong fairytale.
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sschizoid · 24 hours ago
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Could I have the Tulpar crew visiting the zoo? What animals they'd love to see, any of them they would want to pet, etc.
ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ I've got you, nonny
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curly
his favorite animals to view are the koalas. such cute little guys, sleeping their lives away with their only worry being when they were set to get their next meal. he envied them in that respect; wished he was able to embrace a similar lifestyle and just relax. but he didn't really have the luxury to slow down these days
takes loooots of videos. most of them are of the animals just sitting there doing nothing while he really choppily zooms in on them. in the background you can occasionally hear him mutter a quiet "would you look at that," or, "wow. isnt nature just something else?"
makes others pose behind those cutout photo props where there's a hole to put your face, turning you into a tiger or monkey or something like that. claims he never asks anyone for anything ever, so the least they can do is indulge him with this
jimmy
doesn't care much for animals, but has a particular affinity for wolves. there was something to be said about their strength, their loyalty, their perseverance. they were apex predators for a reason. survivors, like him. how much humans could learn from them, he thought, if only they were willing to embrace their baser instincts
somehow always gets stuck walking behind the family of five with a stroller or wagon and is forced to slow his pace to 1.5mph. maybe if he sighs loud enough they'll think to pay attention to their surroundings, realize they're not the only people at the zoo, and get out of the goddamn way
tries to sneak a few shooters inside to at least make the experience a bit more tolerable, but gets caught at the gate. when he's told alcohol isn't permitted on zoo grounds, he looks the worker straight in the eye and downs them one by one, unflinching. shoves the empties into the worker's hands, pats them on the shoulder with a tight-lipped smile, and makes his way inside
anya
finds herself absolutely entranced by the capybaras. there's something about their simplicity, their slowness, and their calm temperament that has her feeling an odd sort of kinship toward them. also, she thinks they're super cute and its so silly that the babies look identical to the adults, just 50% smaller
loves the petting zoo. she's a very tactile person, and feeling the soft wool of the sheep and the little nibbles of the goats eating treats from her palm makes her giggle
enjoys watching those events held at the amphitheater where zookeepers and their animal ambassadors educate the public about the animal's diet, habitat, environmental roles, etc. bonus points if they allow the animal to be pet or have photo ops afterwards
swansea
some might jump to thinking he enjoys tougher animals like the rhinoceros or lion, but he really has a soft spot for penguins. not only are they, well, adorable, they're also brave, social, and incredibly captivating to watch in the water. he's especially partial to the adélie penguin because frankly, they just look kinda funny and he finds them endearing
"come on, if you have to use the bathroom, go while we're next to 'em. no, I don't wanna hear you sayin' you gotta go later 'cause you didn't have the sense to listen to me the first time. go."
lowkey is a bit intimidated by the goats at the petting zoo. once had a billy goat headbutt his leg when he wasn't looking and earned himself a pretty nasty bruise. now opts to stand on the opposite side of the fence whenever in their vicinity. he's not scared, he's just... too old for petting zoos. yeah, that's it
daisuke
thought his favorite animal exhibit was going to be a tie between the lemurs and flamingos, but then came across the pygmy slow loris. he'd never even heard of them before visiting, and they were just so wildly ridiculous that it was love at first sight. took at least 3 photos of himself pointing at it like this
LOVES the free-roaming peacocks that just strut around the zoo grounds doing nothing but flaunting their face cards and serving absolute c/nt. they're literally living his dream
insists on visiting the gift shop before leaving, obviously. they don't have a plush for the pygmy slow loris sadly, but he settles for a dopey-looking orangutan that has velco on its palms so he can wear it around his neck. refers to it as his son and is constantly whipping it against people while quietly vocalizing action sounds under his breath like "pow. pssshhew. wa-bammm..."
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hello beloved mw fandom, I am back !! sorry for the inactivity as of late, currently going in order making my way through requests from oldest to newest. i love all of your ideas so much, they're all so creative and fun ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)
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icycoldninja · 20 hours ago
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hi! may i request headcanons of the dmc boys + v with a male s/o who constantly feels depressed and self-harms, so they tend to sleep most of the time as a way to cope with that? you don't have to do it if you don't feel comfortable writing something like that, so don't worry!
Fear not, these sort of things don't bother me. Enjoy!
Sparda boys + V x Depressed!Male!Reader sleep-coping headcannons
Tw: Depression & mentions of self harm.
¤ Dante ¤
-Dante has been down the long and dark road of depression before, and while he hasn't fully recovered from it, he knows behaving like this isn't healthy.
-In the very beginning, he thought you were just tired from work or whatever and needed to catch up on sleep. As time went on, he realized you slept all the time because it provided relief from the real world.
-While he agrees that dreamland can be better than reality, Dante would rather spend his time with you than chasing after rainbow demon horses on a road that looks like it's made of ice cream.
-He really wants you to realize life is worth living, and decides to start acting completely unpredictably so you always have something to look forward to. Today, he might take you to the zoo, tomorrow, you could be building a tree house even though you're both grown adults. It's always an adventure with him.
-Has a sixth sense for when you're about to sabatoge yourself. He just knows when you're feeling lower than usual and is at your side before you can even begin.
-Dante really is the guy to fix you. No doubt about it.
■ Vergil ■
-Vergil is someone who, after having several near death experiences, understands that life is not to be taken for granted.
-Seeing you so depressed hurts him, so he decides he will MOTIVATE you to enjoy your life while you've got it.
-Brings you breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed, then slowly decreases it to just breakfast and lunch, then only breakfast, so you're more inclined to come out to the dining room to eat with him.
-Tries to start some kind of activity that involves getting up and doing something with you at least once a day so you can get some exercise.
-Keeps a very close eye on you at all times so you can't hurt yourself, and if it looks like you're about to, he will take action.
-That action will be to hold you very, very tightly and quietly assure you he loves you, while promising to never let go. You'll have to pry him off with a crowbar.
□ Nero □
-Nero is just confused. He can't believe someone could be this sleepy.
-Then he learns of the truth behind your behavior and immediately regrets every witty remark he made in his head.
-Nero isn't the greatest at comforting people or MOTIVATING them like his father is, but he is good at giving you reasons to get out of bed using the power of death metal.
-Yes, the noise will be too much for even you to sleep through; you will have no choice but to get out of your cocoon of blankets and enter the living room to ask him to turn it off, which results in conversations and eventually group activities.
-Is willing to listen if you ever want to talk your troubles out.
-Will also hold you when you're on the verge of harming yourself or when you feel particularly depressed because he wants to be there for you.
● V ●
-V is about ready to lie down and sleep with you, and he absolutely would, if Griffon wasn't constantly squawking at him to get up.
-Indeed, you both owe a lot to his pets, annoying as they may be, because if they didn't require care and attention, you would have fewer reasons for leaving your nest of sheets and pillows.
-V understands you're going through a lot of pain, so he tries everything he can to be there for you. He lends you his shoulder to cry on, assures you of things when you're insecure, and covers you with kisses whenever you're feeling sad. Truly the best boyfriend ever.
-He isn't the strongest man alive, but he's capable enough to grab you and keep you away from sharp or otherwise dangerous objects.
-Griffon and Shadow make sure to alert him in case something happens and he isn't around to witness it. Think of them as spies sent to watch you, and only you.
-Leaves inspiring notes all over the place for you to find so you can be comforted literally everywhere you go.
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pixiefeatherkw3 · 9 days ago
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Lust being the most propense to fist-fight, sucker-punching, hair-pulling, nail-scratching his way like is nobody's business*
*thinking about this cuz bestie @ me in this image saying that is Lu and I guess yes, totally
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aroaessidhe · 2 months ago
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Teller of Small Fortunes
lighthearted fantasy adventure
follows an immigrant fortune teller who travels between villages telling small fortunes for people
when she runs into a (mostly reformed) thief and an an ex-mercenary searching for his lost daughter, she ends up traveling with them in the hopes she can help, along with a baker they meet along the way,
they encounter various magical creatures and adventurous situations, and eventually she has to face her past
no romance
#The Teller of Small Fortunes#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this was okay#to be honest I didn’t get very attached to any of the characters - I found most of them a bit one dimensional.#(I kept forgetting the cat even existed - why keep mentioning the magical cat in the promo if it’s barely there!!!)#And not feeling much for the characters meant I struggled to feel much about everything else about the story honestly#The exploration of being diaspora in a foreign country & experiences of racism & her relationship with her mother was probably the most#interesting to me.#I always give cozy fantasy a chance but honestly I need it to be deeply introspective or maybe like really funny#it’s just a bit too light for me? (other than the racism and xenophobia - I’m glad to see more of that in this space)#It’s just I think not deeply enough for me - and combined with not feeling attached to the characters I just wasn’t feeling it#Also one of the reasons I picked this up was because I was seeing people say it has an asexual MC and let me just say-#it has a very vaguely AROace CODED mc#If you’re looking for it there’s a few lines of implications but it’s not super clear and also any mention is romance related - aro! not ac#There were SO many instances that would have been an opportunity to bring up aro/aceness and the choice to not do that#felt sightly strange to me?. however tdlr readers could be promoting this on it having no romance and focusing on#friendship/family instead of saying it has an ace MC which is….only there if you squint#no romance#***other than side characters being married and also:#There’s a minor subplot where a side character has a crush on another SC which is unrequited#and there’s a bit of a confrontation after which he backs off. but then it’s implied they might get together in the end :(#which was unnecessary! come on!#I always find fantasy characters inventing real life foods slightly odd but at least this one is more from the author’s culture#anyway. it's okay! just didn't really end up being for me
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ieidolon · 2 months ago
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now that i'm playing dragon age: veilguard i understand hbomberguy so much better. think i could probably do a 3.5 hours long video called "dragon age: the veilguard is FINE and here's why"
#the writing in dragon age has Always been a bit clunky it's part of the charm#but yes there are sections in DAV that made me go “oh nooo”#but no it isn't as bad as people say#the mechanics are fun idc. it's bad that my new laptop can run all of BG3 fine but becomes laggy as hell in any city location in DAV tho#companions r generally charming and they're all professionals so it makes sense they're less prone to big fights than say DAO morrigan#but yes i do miss having a bit more tension in the party sometimes#the character creator is great for dudes but yea it would probably b cool if it were possible to have curvier bodies for those who want tha#but no it isn't literally impossible to make good-looking rooks. it's quite easy actually#and like yeah you can't have wildly out there body types but it's pretty cool that you can be a geralt type a twink or chubby as a dude#(i play male characters and have only done the female cc once for a custom f!inquisitor so i have more experience w that one)#the qunari also look. fine? the antaam don't look too soft or anything so far#the majority of complaints against this game were stupid and not rooted in anything real#BUT!!! i don't love it#solas continues to be a highlight#lucanis is great so far and i love neve#neve's voice acting is amazing#she manages to make some very disappointing lines sound good#but..... i can't pretend the writing *isn't* awkward in places#d'meta's crossing stands out to me as a pretty bad case of overly direct storytelling#(spoilers) talking to the mayor was deeply disappointing! he just TOLD rook what he did and why. it felt so anticlimactic#especially bc the imagery in the village was striking and grotesque#but there didn't feel like there was any payoff#other sections have been great#but DAV just feels like it completely lacks subtlety at times#the other DA games haven't always been masters of show dont tell but this section felt like a first draft#like someone was working out the story and didn't have time to polish the script at all before the voice actors were called in#idk it really stands out to me as bad#also yeah it's noticeable that you don't really get to do evil things. at least not yet
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vintage-bentley · 3 months ago
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The worst part about fandom culture being majority OSA women/girls, is that they all just expect you to share their attraction for the male of the day. They fan themselves over these dudes and try to get you to join in and you don’t know how to explain to them that you literally feel nothing when you look at these men. At best it’s like looking at a nice painting and at worst it’s like looking at a wet diseased rat. It’s like grade school all over again where everyone is bonding over their boy crushes and you’re expected to play along or be alienated.
It gets even more awkward when they try to hide the fact that they’re attracted to these males by saying it’s “gender envy”, or claiming that they’re some form of “asexual”. And you just want to say come on, you’re clearly attracted to this man, say it with your chest and stop trying to find a way to get me to rave about receding hairlines with you.
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melveres · 1 year ago
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I’m so invested in wizard101 and its denizens that it has got me researching actual irl science and engineering so i could depict magic better
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girls-and-honey · 10 months ago
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#okay so random tag post even though it's been ages#me thinks the current place i work is actually decent a la accepting-queer-ppl so?? miiiiight. consider actually putting my#pronouns in my email signature (which hardly gets used but shh) but like. the actual ones not the society/people assume anyway ones#idk i attended a virtual tech focused event for trans dov (yes early but they didn't want to put the event on sun) and you know when#everyone is just sharing their stories and experiences and it's just like... an overwhelming sense of community? anyway that#and since it was hosted by a professional org the topics were all workplace focused and mayhaps that's something i'm thinking abt for#this year. at least within our pride group I might be ready? wild bc for a long time tumblr has been the only place I feel comfy being 100%#myself. but hearing real people's stories makes me feel like that kind of community would be nice to have elsewhere too#and the whole looking to others also turns around into the leading by example thing bc then we had some breakout groups at the end for#networking which is not my favorite but! i did my intro and said I use she/her for work but will use she/they for this group and#then the next person said he/him at work but for this group he/they so that made me wonder if it was bc of me saying so first?#which if it was is kind of like oh. the way I'm looking for those people for me.. I can also be that for someone else#anyway this sounds dumb typed out but irl/professional me has always separated out queer identity so it's new to me#i'm allowed to be giddy okay. just a little. as a treat (is tumblr still using 'as a treat' i really hope so)#oh shit is this what gender euphoria feels like#alright that's it for now i think#gah emotions and whatnot#missed you all btw i'll start actually being online again soon#personal
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pynkhues · 22 days ago
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Jacob and Sam truly looked like zygotes as older teenagers/young adults. Those are just little babies. Adorable, but definitely examples of how some people reach peak hotness starting in their 30s.
Kind of interesting, for Sam in particular, it seems like he's played a lot of roles where being handsome is part of the character, and I'm now being a weirdo and wondering if he was considered handsome as he grew up or if he grew into that. He somehow doesn't always act, to me, like someone who's viscerally aware of being as handsome as he is. Not that I expect good-looking people to all be arrogant, the most beautiful people I've known have tended to be very nice, but there's just a quality...i don't know how to explain it.
(x)
They both definitely grew into their features, haha. It must be such a weird thing to age as an actor, and constantly have people discovering performances of yours from when you were younger. I think about that a lot with child stars, particularly child stars who are part of shows and films that become pop cultural juggernauts like The Goonies or Stranger Things. Like to grow up and have your (sometimes very!) younger face be a part of everyone's history instead of just your own must be a really weird feeling.
As for Sam - - I'd say yes and no? He's definitely done a few romances, which I think does usually mean being handsome is high on the casting agent's requirements list, haha, and I think having a certain look was a consideration for both Lambs of God and The Riot Club, but he's also played a lot of roles where I think he's cast as a bit of an Australian every-man, actually? I'm thinking of the roles that I've seen him in, and he plays a highschool teacher in The Hunting, a sergeant in The Drover's Wife, a country boy in Bloom, a soldier in The Railway Man, hell, even playing Dale in The Newsreader is I think is more about being photogenic than it is about necessarily being handsome. Even that clip of his first TV role, he was a plumber.
If he was considered handsome as he grew up - - who knows, haha. Probably. He's also well-documented as being a theatre kid / farm boy at a very prestigious all-boys private school in Sydney in the mid-00s though, so I imagine he was humbled pretty regularly to put it mildly.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#looking at the notes ppl in the lab let me on my birthday card. it seems ppl think i should chill the fuck out lmao#a lot were like RELAX!!! and ya kno objectively theyre right but i refuse to listen bc theres something wrong in my head#sigh. i survived the day at least. the timed measurements r done on this experiment. thank christ. and my birthday gathering as so#i dont kno. it was kinda funny and kinda sad i guess. bc i knew it was gonna happen and i didnt want it to but i was like fine. ill meet#at 4. and i expected it to b in the conference room but they set up outside the lab around the corner. so they did kinda surprise me#location wise i guess. i cant imagine what expression i was making. it felt like a pained smile but idk. i had to go back to take#measurements every 4min so i was standing there with a plate full of ice creame cake. kinda away from everyone while they talked. staring#at my phone timer as it ticked down and abruptly leaving when i had to log a measurement. i was basically a non entity while there. which#was kinda idea bc i have too much hurt inside to talk to ppl right now. as evidence by my phone call with my parents when i got home. im#just kinda a bummer to exist around rn. idk maybe i should apologize to my boss bc i kno im not an easy person to do things for#and i really do appreciate the effort. its just hard when i kno how much stress its going to cause me for someone to attempt to do#something they think will b nice. so idk i just feel bad. but its over. and idk what ill do tomorrow. i should do stuff for when i move#like my dad was like: u should prioritize ur future stuff. and hes objectively right. they think i should get a studio apartment which#would b expensive as fuck but i will destroy myself if i have roommates. idk. theres lots still to do bc i have to get a ton of data#processed by the end of the week bc i have 8 days of measurement on another project that needs to get done by may 14th when i leave for#vacation. which my mom was like did u buy ur tickets for next month and i was like. hm how do i ask where im supposed to buy tickets to#without giving away that i dont kno what ur talking abt? bc apparently im going to a wedding? wtf do i wear to a wedding?#idk. i guess im just kinda sad bc this month has been really hard. i made it hard for no reason bc theres something wrong in my head and#that hurt has nowhere to go bc i cant even give anyone an honest account of how awful it was bc its like what r they gonna do abt it?#anything i say is just worrying bc i cant seem to stop myself who whats the point in talking abt it. but idk humans r social creatures so#when im in pain at least part of me wants someone to brush my hair and acknowledge my pain and tell me itll b ok#but idk. the idea of that happening is different from the reality where i seem to opperate at a different frequency to other people. we#just dont seem to properly connect. idk. idk what ill do tomorrow. im afraid to loosen my grip on my schedule bc i might fall to piece#pieces without the pressure. well see. lets home my 26th year is better than my 25th was. bc last year sucked#hope* lets hope that was my low point. bc that was not a fun time and im worry to take account of thr damage done#unrelated
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